


Tutoring

by peterickswhore



Series: Peterick One Shots [53]
Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Crush, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Crushes, Embarrassment, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, High School, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Nervousness, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Rejection, Secret Crush, Shame, Tutoring, Underage Character(s), Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 09:46:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18568873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterickswhore/pseuds/peterickswhore
Summary: Pete thought tutoring would be hell until he met his tutor Patrick. Patrick's 3 years older and cares about Pete in a way he never knew he needed so he can't help getting a huge crush on Patrick even though he knows it could never work out





	Tutoring

**Pete's POV**  
  
Tutoring isn't something I thought I'd ever enjoy but I've been pleasantly proved wrong. My tutor Patrick is a great guy and actually seems to enjoy it as well.

Today we're working on math which is always less fun but I'm sure it'll still be good with Patrick. I get to the school library first so I claim a table near a window and wait for Patrick. When he walks in I take a second to admire him before waving so he starts towards me.

He's so attractive and I can't help having a huge crush on him. I know he's gay because he's had boyfriends but I also know he's way out of my league. He's a senior and I'm only a freshman so there's no way he'd be interested in me and even if he was I couldn't keep him interested.

Like always Patrick ruffles my hair then flops down in the seat next to me. "Hey dude" "Hey Trick" "You good?" "Yeah" "You seem quiet today" "It's just been a long day" "You can talk to me if you want" "I'm ok, we should get to work" "Whatever you want but I'm always happy to listen if you need it"

I give him a shy smile before pulling out my math homework. We spend a couple of hours working through all the math work I've gotten behind in and I feel really good by the end.

Patrick has this way of teaching that makes me actually enjoy being here. He doesn't make me feel like a stupid child or talk down to me even though he's way older and smarter. He treats me like a friend and an equal and that makes it so much nicer to work with him.

When we're finished its getting late so we pack out stuff away and walk out together. I'm pretty quiet but Patrick talks about what he's working on in music and I enjoy listening. I could easily listen to Patrick talk for hours and never get bored because I love his voice and how passionate he is.

When we get to the student car park Patrick turns to me and smiles "Need a ride?" "I don't know, my mother was going to pick me up" "Check to see if she's texted, if she's not here I'll give you a ride"

Usually I walk home but we worked later today so I'd rather not walk home if it's getting cold and dark. When I check my phone there's no messages so I sigh. My parents are fighting so much lately so they probably got distracted with a fight and forgot about me.

Patrick's never given me a ride home before but he's offered every time so I might actually take up the offer this time. "Would you be ok with driving me home?" "Yeah of course dude" "I think my mother forgot" "That's ok, I'm happy to drive you home whenever you need"

I'm quiet as we get in Patrick's car and only talk when Patrick asks for directions. I hate it when I get like this but I've been feeling bad all day and going home to my fighting parents won't make it better.

We're almost at my street but Patrick pulls over to the side of the road and looks at me. "Do you wanna come to my house?" "I... What?" "Do you wanna come over? My parents work late so we could order some food and hang out a bit" "You want me to?" "Yeah, it'll be fun"

I really really want that but I don't know if I should. If my parents are fighting they won't notice I'm gone but if they're not they might worry where I am. Me and Patrick have never hung out outside of tutoring so I don't know how it would go, I don't want him to hate me.

I must look really nervous because Patrick reaches over to pat my knee "You don't have to if you don't want to" "I just... I don't know" "You don't look happy so I thought maybe hanging out a bit would make you feel better" "It would" "So is that a yes? I don't wanna pressure you if you don't want to" "It's a yes but not for too long" "I'll have you home before curfew don't worry" "I don't have a curfew" "I like that, stay as long as you want"

As Patrick drives to his own house it feels a lot less awkward which I'm super glad of. I really like him as a friend and as a crush so I want this to go well.

When we get to his house Patrick drives into the garage then leads me into the house. It's bigger than mine but feels cozy and homely so I really like it.

He leads me up the stairs to his room which makes me a little nervous. Patrick's almost 18 but I'm only 14 so he's way too old for me. I know he's a good guy but I can't help being nervous while in his bedroom.

Once we get there Patrick pulls some clothes out of his wardrobe and starts changing. I should look away but he brought me in here so obviously he doesn't mind me watching. I watch as he unbuttons his school shirt and replaces it with a hoodie then replaces his school pants with jeans.

Once he's changed he grabs my hand and pulls me closer "Do you wanna borrow some clothes?" "I don't think I'd fit them" "I'm not that fat" "No no no, I'm not calling you fat, it's just that I'm super short and skinny" "That's because you haven't gone through puberty yet silly" "Yeah I guess so, if you don't mind I'll borrow something"

Patrick smiles and gives me a hoodie which I change into quickly. Patrick has a really nice body but I'm way too skinny and boney so I don't want him looking at me for too long. He offers a pair of sweatpants too but I decide to just stay in my school pants because wearing his pants is too awkward.

When I'm done Patrick leads me back downstairs which loosens me up a bit. It's hard to be calm when I'm in the bedroom of the hottest guy I've ever seen while he expects me to change in front of him.

Downstairs we sit on the couch in the living room and Patrick gives suggestions on what food we can get. I'm nervous at first but with Patrick's hand on my thigh and him talking easily I loosen up a bit. We decide to just get pizza because it's easy and cheap but Patrick promises next time we'll do something better. I'm too busy trying to hide my smile at the fact he wants to hang out again to care about what we get. I'd eat dog food if I had to because all I want is to spend time with Patrick.

While we wait for the food Patrick slips an arm around me so I can lean my head on his shoulder. It's so nice and part of me wants to fall asleep here but another part of me couldn't bare so miss a second of this.

"Pete you ok?" "I'm great" "You sure?" "Yeah" "You seem so quiet and shy and nervous" "We've never hung out like this before" "I know but there's a first time for everything" "Do you like hanging out with me?" "Yeah you're sweet and I like you" "Can we do this again?" "Of course, if you wanted you could come over after tutoring whenever you want"

He's being so nice and I never expected this to go so well. I thought he'd either try to get me in bed or be super bored but he actually likes talking and hanging out with me.

Patrick's still got an arm around me and I really like his touch so I don't react when he puts a hand on my thigh. He gently squeezes my thigh so I close my eyes and try not to feel sad. I literally just thought about how happy I was that he hadn't tried to make a move on me but I shouldn't be surprised. This is what seniors do and I knew that, plus I've wanted him since the day we met so I can't complain.

I'm about to suck up my fear and tell Patrick he can go further if he wants when the doorbell rings. Patrick gives me a smile and gets up to answer it so I take a breath and check my phone. There's no messages so obviously my parents haven't noticed that I'm late.

Quickly I google the age of consent in Illinois and cringe when I see its 17. Patrick's only just legal so I'm definitely not but I'm sure it's ok as long as it's consensual and we don't tell anyone.

When Patrick comes back with the pizza he puts his arm back around me while we both dig in. I really like it because we're eating so it takes the pressure off talking. I'm a slower eater so Patrick finishes before me and lazily flips through his Netflix moves while he waits for me.

By the time I'm done he's picked some alien movie he likes so he puts it on and holds me closer. His hands back on my thigh but this time it feels more natural so I relax into it.

We watch about 20 minutes of the movie before Patrick pauses it and turns to me. "Do you need to get home soon?" "I can stay" "Good, I think we should talk a little" "You don't wanna watch the movie?" "I do but if you can stay then we'll have plenty of time to finish"

I nod and try to hold back my smile then Patrick's leg brushes mine. "I know you're lying Pete, please tell me what's up" "What do you mean?" "You've never been like this before" "I'm sorry, it's been a long day" "Tell me about it" "Do I have to?" "You don't have to do anything but I'd like you to"

Unloading my problems on him would be the quickest way to scare Patrick away but I can tell him a few things. I'll only tell him basic things so he'll feel like I've opened up to him but I won't scare him away with the deep stuff.

"I'm obviously not good at school and exams are coming up so I'm really scared of failing" "That's why I'm here to help you" "I know but I'm so nervous" "We can meet more times a week if you want, you could come over here sometimes and we can do some work" "You have stuff to do, you shouldn't spend all your time fixing me" "I can do my work while you do yours and if you get stuck I'll help" "Thank you" "Think about it, the offers always there"

I lean my head back on his shoulder and don't say anything, hoping I've told him enough to satisfy him. I like him so if he keeps asking I'll end up telling him about my parents and mental health and how lonely I am. I desperately want to hide all that from him but I can't stop myself from telling him anything he wants to know.

I know at this point I idolise Patrick more than I have a crush on him or want to be his friend. I know it's probably not healthy but he's everything I wish I was so I can't help being willing to do anything.

"Is there anything else Pete?" "No" "You sure?" "Yes" "You've told me about school before and I know you're stressed but something else seems off tonight" "I'm ok"

Patrick watches me for a while then sighs and starts drawing patterns on my thigh. "Have I told you about my anxiety?" "Anxiety? You don't have anxiety" "I do" "You don't act like it" "Yeah I've worked really hard to get past it and learn to live with it" "You've done really well" "Thank you sweetheart. For years I couldn't make friends or handle any stress but I worked really hard to learn how to work around it. I don't usually tell people but I trust you and I want you to know you can tell me anything"

He's so perfect and all I wanna do is talk but I don't know what to talk about. I could tell him about my problems or I could tell him about my crush on him which are both terrible. I can't figure out which one would be the most humiliating but I don't wanna say anything to risk our friendship.

"Pete?" "Yeah?" "Do you have something to tell me?" "I don't know, what do you wanna hear" "What's bothering you?" "Lots of things" "Tell me them" "My parents and my mental health and making friends" "Your parents?" "I think they might be getting a divorce, all they do is fight" "Mental health?" "I have bipolar and depression and it's really bad right now" "Friends?" "I don't have any, I'm really lonely but I can't make friends so I'm terrified to loose you, you're my only friend"

Now it's all out there whether I want it to be or not. I feel so anxious about how he'll react but I still feel better than usual because I've got it off my chest. Someone knows all my issues so for better or for worse I'm not so alone.

I wait for Patrick to say something awkwardly polite then ask me to leave but he just holds me. We sit in silence while he holds me close until I feel a tear run down my cheek. This probably isn't what he wanted but he holds me tight while I sob against his chest. When I run out of tears Patrick hands me a tissue and lets me clean myself up.

"Pete sweetheart I've got you" "I'm sorry" "No apologising, I wouldn't have asked you what was wrong if I didn't wanna know" "You probably thought I'd just tell you about my girl drama or something, you didn't want my tears" "I didn't ask for them but if you need to get it out then get it out. Plus I knew it wasn't girl drama because you don't like girls"

I look up at him in horror but Patrick gives me a smile and pushes a strand of hair out of my face. "I'm not blind Pete, you are gay right?" "Yeah" "Are you ashamed?" "A little bit" "Don't be, you know I'm gay too right?" "Yeah I know" "So don't be ashamed, I don't care what gender you like" "I know, I'm just being stupid" "You like me don't you Pete?" "Of course we're friends" "But you have a crush on me right?"

I thought I was being subtle about it but obviously not. I'm so ashamed that he knows how I feel but I can't bare to move out of his arms.

Maybe he likes me too though, maybe he noticed my crush because he has the same feelings. It's so unlikely but all I want is Patrick so I can't help hoping maybe he feels the same. Maybe he'll take me back to his room and be my first, maybe he'll want to be with me.

Now I've got the idea in my head it's all I can think about. Patrick's a nice guy so he wouldn't mention my crush just to embarrass me so he must want something. I'm underage and this is all illegal so I'm going to have to make the first move. Once I do Patrick will know I want the same thing he wants so he can take me to bed.

Patrick's still watching me so I ignore all my fear and lean in. I try to kiss him but Patrick turns his head so all I can do is kiss his cheek. I'm freaking out but I kiss Patrick's cheek again then down his jaw to his neck.

Patrick's had boyfriends before and probably done this a lot so I have to be just as good. Seniors are probably happy to take control and make the first move so I have to as well. I can't wait around for Patrick to want me, I have to show him I'm worth wanting.

I wish Patrick would show me what to do but he doesn't seem like he will so I try to do the right thing. In porn and in romance novels it seems so easy so I use my limited knowledge from that.

Patrick's not looking at me still so I keep kissing his neck and put a hand on his thigh like he did for me. He doesn't stop me so I slide my hand up further until it's resting over the crotch of his pants. I'm so clueless and I hate it but I squeeze Patrick's dick and smile when he makes a little noise. I do it a couple more times but when I reach for Patrick's zipper he grabs my hand to stop me. I'm ready to go to his room and get naked for him but he doesn't look me in the eye and moves back from me.

"Pete... Sweetheart I... I..." "What's wrong? What'd I do?" "It's not you sweetheart I-" "Please don't give me that 'It's not you its me' crap" "I'm sorry Pete, I just-" "I'm sorry Trick, I'm new at this, I'm trying to do the right thing" "Pete I-" "I'll do whatever you want, we can go to your room and you can teach me what I'm supposed to be doing" "Please stop cutting me off, I need to talk"

I feel bad now so I nod quickly and look at Patrick, ready to do whatever he says. "Pete you're 14, we're not gonna do anything" "It doesn't matter that I'm 14, I can be mature" "I know you're mature but that doesn't change the fact you're underage, you're a child" "I'm not a child, don't call me that"

I'm desperate to prove I'm not a stupid child but Patrick just cups my face in his hands "Pete I don't wanna hurt you but I can't give you what you're asking for" "Why? What's wrong with me?" "You're too young and innocent" "I'm not" "Please don't fight me on this"

I whimper and lean my cheek against his hand which makes Patrick smile and lean in to kiss my forehead. "You're so sweet Pete and I really care about you so I hope this doesn't ruin anything" "It won't" "That's good, I really wanna be your friend so I don't want you to think I don't like you just because I can't date you"

It hurts a little but I always knee we could never be together because the age gaps too big. When we're older it won't matter so much but right now it's just not right.

"I love being your friend so I hope I haven't ruined anything" "No Pete no, I like being your friend so nothing's ruined at all" "I'm glad" "Me too" "I'm sorry for unloading my problems on you and not hiding my crush better" "It's ok, don't apologise, do you wanna talk some more?" "Not really" "Then we can finish our movie and maybe afterwards we can talk or we can tomorrow" "We don't have tutoring tomorrow" "No but we can hang out at lunch or after school"

This time I don't even try to hide my huge smile when he says that. Patrick laughs softly then leans in to kiss my forehead before we continue with the movie. When it finishes I talk to him a bit more and Patrick listens to everything I say and never moves his arm from around me.

When it gets late Patrick drives me home and tells me if anything happens with my parents I can call him. He even offers to let me stay the night at his house which makes me feel so amazing. I hesitate but end up kissing Patrick's cheek before getting out of the car. I'm worried he won't like it but when I look back Patrick smiles and waves so I feel much better.

I know Patrick won't agree to date me until I'm at least 18 but I don't care as much as I thought I would. He's still going to be my friend and we've gotten so much closer so I love it. Patrick's a great guy and being his friend will be so amazing that it'll be easy forget my feelings for him. Maybe one day in the future he'll be willing to get together but for now I'm more than happy to just be his friend.


End file.
